Saturday, September 15, 2007

Amy Winehouse Can Sing

You know I didn't really get into Amy Winehouse until recently. You see I'm always behind the times - never in front. I kept seeing images of her withering body with ballet shoes and beehive stumbling from one pub to the next and wondered what's all the fuss about? So I listened to "Rehab" and now I'm a huge fan - ranting and raving to friends about her with mixed responses. Nash said he knew about her for ages and even had the album playing as a soundtrack to a camping trip that was "months ago". I wonder why he didn't say anything to me about how great she is? Maybe its because you have these pleasures going on in your mind they don't get verbalized until something triggers the Amy Winehouse conversation. All you have to do with her is close your eyes and think you are in the deep south and its about 1940.

Speaking of pleasures in the back of your mind, a guilty one of mine is "Spoonman". Now this is indeed something I was quite prepared to never talk about until the other day at work. I confessed to Paul that I listen to the "Spoonman" on the way home from work every night and he laughed because he does as well. You see, the "Spoonman" or "Spooney" to his friends, is a complete and utter dork, righteously informed, painfully politically correct, creepily deep voiced, piece of talk back radio work. He's the guy that everyone from the suburbs listens to when they just want to snuggle in bed with their sense of "doing their bit" for the world and snickering at all the "bad" people out there that need their proverbial "wrist slapped". To hell with it, I love him. He's the scary red head on the right hamming it up with Wierd Al Yankovic. I'd put a link to his web page but I'm too scared of how disgusted you'll be with me.

What the hell, I'm going to throw in another one. Extreme Makeover is something I find hard to live without. Up late, eating dinner after work, kettles on, slippers - check. It flashes up on the screen with promises of amazing transformations - from slob to sensational! - from dowdy to dangerous! - One of my favorite episodes is the snaggle tooth guy. Anyway this is "Jim" above - and this is "Jim" below. Humble Hog to Handsome Hunk!

Friday, July 06, 2007

Joan Collins Arrives At David Frost Summer Party

Its funny, I was just getting my hair this morning and I looked into the mirror. The light in the hairdresser was of a most unflattering nature but none the less I was cheerful. I was having the morning off as they say, childless, work less, a free agent amongst a room full of hairdressers and their clients. It struck me, not the lightening bolt type, but the matter of factual type, gee Sheila you look like your getting old. No way, are you kidding me, its my genes I would always say when someone looked surprised at my age (I'm 41 and look a bit younger I guess, but not this morning as you can gather). Anyway, I wondered does this mean anything. Will I freak out at about 4 am and think that I'm an old hag that no one will ever have the hots for again? Will I ever get surgery - or the more favorable non invasive treatments stars go on about? I laughed, because one of the trainee girls watching the hair cut take place was amazed at my relaxed state (a lot of hair was coming off - I needed a Posh-like, Katie Holmes make over). "Gee you look relaxed for someone getting so much off the length!". "Yeah, when you start having kids you couldn't care less about things like that", I condescended. Are you kidding Sheila?

Anyway, it struck me when I looked at this picture of Joan Collins that may be she couldn't care less about her looks (I mean I know she cares but she has that 'up yours!' bravado that just adds eyeliner with every year). Mutton dressed up as lamb? 'Get stuffed!' is Joan's motto. My Mum reckons she was the poor man's Elizabeth Taylor (she was quoting I know), but it just struck me that she really doesn't look 74.

Friday, May 18, 2007

What Will Nash Do Next?

I have been tagged my dear friend Nash- he says that you have to list 8 things that are about you or something - random? crazy?? things that people don't know about you - that's hard because most things that people know about me are random and crazy...

1. When I was little I wanted to be an air hostess. My friend Doris and I wrote a letter to the universe and pledged our allegiance to the world of air hostessing. We buried this pledge in my backyard where the idea stayed.

2. I thought that going to church was boring. I used to stare at the clock and pray that the hour would end quickly. Our priest caught me yawning and gave me the death stare. It didn't stop me from yawning and his death stares mellowed over time. Little did I know that many things in my life would bore me to tears and staring at clocks is my weakness.

3. I have a knack for the dramatic. I can break into a sweat over the most stupid things (they are too numerous to mention). Under pressure I can turn into a robot like super hero and create an atmosphere of calm that even I thought was impossible.

4. I love watching T.V. I know this must come as a shock to most people but its true. I can watch Extreme Makeover with the same interest as a documentary on the inner workings of the brain.

5. I eat exactly the same thing each day for breakfast (cereal with soy milk and nice coffee). It gives me great pleasure when I make it because I am the first one up and the house is quiet. I feel great comfort that Woody Allen also shares this ritual with me (he prefers cheerios with 7 slices of banana on top).

6. I daydream. I can drive from one place to another and not remember how I got there.

7. I love stationery. Not just the printed, delicate stuff. Anything that is filed under that category. I can go through Officeworks and just marvel at the amount of notepads there are to cater for any activity. The other day I stayed in there for close to an hour and forgot that the rest of my family was in the car wondering what the hell was going on.

8. I thought that I would think differently about things when I got older but that hasn't happened. There's a lot to be said for consistency.

Sheila.